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But even as I have turned my will and my life over to the care of my true Buddha nature and see all the qualities of my true self abiding in Hanh Niêm, and I have said, “Not me!” to my feelings and perceptions and have released all the negative energy inside me, I was aware that my old self was still hovering around me. I wasn’t able to truly feel free of all the aspects of my old self because of that.
Then recently I watched a spiritual video which said that not only must one create a new identity, but one must bury the old one. As soon as I heard that, it made sense to me.
And so I decided to bury the tormented soul and mind of Ronnie, my former self. I performed a little ceremony at the local Jewish cemetery and recited the Jewish prayer for then dead. I felt very much at peace in doing this. And afterwards when I walked about, I said to myself that I’m Hanh Niêm, and I felt a lightness, a glow, which was different from any joy or positive feeling that I had ever felt before.
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